How Do I?

So, I spoke to Dece today, he's one of my friend in college whom I tell my stories, believe me, I told him a lot of things...

The things that he always said to me are;

"Be happy with yourself"

"Accept yourself"

"Understand yourself"

"Love yourself first"

 and the list keeps going...

The 'problem' is, how do I do it? 

I can't seem to find something that I really love about myself, I mean I am grateful for what I am, but you know, when I got asked, questions like;

"Which part of your body that you liked the most?"

I can't seem to find the answer, because I'm confused.

Maybe people think I have issues? Something like self-issues, well.. I don't. Its not like that.

I just....haven't found a way, yet.

You know, I realize that I always seem to love other more that I forgot to love myself. The other thing is, I don't think I ever remember my parents teaching me how to love myself (they're never a bad parents, maybe they just didn't thought about it, I mean...) 

(p.s Imma teach my kids to love themselves first. For sure)

I always taught to love others, give them mercy or forgiveness, I did that...a lot, often, too often I even forget to love myself, to give myself a mercy or forgiveness...

And as 'be happy with myself' I find it hard. Again, I don't know how.

I always think that 'don't put your happiness in others hand' stuff kinda not me, because I feel like only other people can make me happy, a significant other. LOL I know, pathetic. What can I say?

That is why, I always dreamt of having someone who can actually love myself more than I love me, someone who can make me feel happy...

Dece says "until you can figure it out, you're not as ready as you think for a relationship, you'll 'ruin' others because of that" 

Damn, this guy always makes me wanna cry after I he gave me his words of wisdom. (Ps: he's older so yeah)

I literally cried sometimes. Let me tell you, this Dece guy, is really good with giving advice.

Don't be like me people. I'm sucks, at least until this moment. You'll do better. I'll get better, I hope. #fingercrossed

xxx