Oh! How (Unrequited) Love Sucks

"Its the feeling of being completely, hopelessly, desperately in love with someone, all the while knowing that your feelings will never reach them.

Its contradictory in that you feel incredible because you love someone so much, but also at the same time you feel almost overwhelming despair because you will never know what it is like to hold them in your arms, or touch their face, or kiss their lips. You will never know what it is like to wake-up next to them in bed in the morning, bodies entwined.

It can be masochistic in nature- it causes such heartache, but you enjoy loving the person so much, you willingly let your heart go through the agony, so you can hold onto something- I don't know, maybe hope?

In any case, unrequited love is a very sad thing.

"Unrequited Love"- 

Its like drowning but you just won't fucking die." - Urban Dictionary

Well, the definition above sucks, badly. But its the truth. HA HA

Most of us (maybe) even me, had experienced this kind of love, and it sucks, big time.

We got hurt a lot in the process of loving someone who does love us back, let alone this one-sided love right? 

I mean, most of the times, we blame the other party about the pain we felt in our chest - you know that feeling when you feel like you can't breath properly because its like there's something heavy pressing your lungs?

I get that a lot too BTW. 

But, is it really their fault? 

I have two different opinions on this, yes and no (definitely, duh). 

It's their fault for not noticing our feelings - or they pretend like they did not notice so that could be a little less painful for us (ha, in your dream) a.k.a play dumb. 

It's not their fault because - well, basically they did not have any obligations to look after our feelings, I mean, it is indeed OUR own feelings not theirs. So why bother? They did not have the obligations to return all the feelings they get from others (in this case, love), they never had. 

Feelings are free-will. It sucks.

But, I guess the reason why we keep telling ourselves that 'they hurt our feelings' is because we could not bear the the reality that they're just not into us the way we are - or we don't wan't to admit that we don't stand the chance to be with them, not in this exact time - at least. 

We are the one who hurt ourselves. 

But, again, feelings can be uncontrollable, even if its our own. 

We can say A, B, C, D until Z, yet the heart wants what it wants.

It is the hope that made us continue and it is also the hope that gets us killed. Hope comes with either comfort of disappointment. Be prepared - HA  who am I kidding? We would never be ready for heartbreaks, we never will. 

What doesn't kill you make you stronger, Kelly Clarckson said, but damn, the process of getting stronger are just too much sometimes. 

And it will hurts so bad until it won't anymore, be patient. Take your time. Time heals, they said, 

It does...some just take longer some shorter. 

Like Christina Perri said, we're only human.

And  pain is a part of us you know? The feeling of heaviness in our chest, the thought that we could not think straight anymore because the pain drives us crazy...its all part of the process of loving someone - weather they loves us back or not. 

I once thought (well, still think) that I rather be hurt than feeling nothing at all. 

Adele said in 'Someone Like You' its a bittersweet taste. Like coffee, yet we're all addicted to it. Just like loving someone who doesn't love us back. And no matter how cliché its sounds, we always want the people we can't have. I found an interesting article about this, here;

•  6 Realistic Reasons Why We Always Want The People We Can’t Have
• 4 Reasons Why We Want That One Person That We Can't Have

The other thing about Unrequited Love is, that we often doubt ourselves, we're always questioning;

"Am I good not good enough?"

"Am I not worthy enough?"

"Am I not pretty enough?"

"What does it take to get him/her to notice me?"

"Should I wear more/less makeup?"

"Should I change my style?"

"Doesn't s/he like a boy/girl with glasses(or not)?"

"Am I too short/tall?"

"Am I too thin/fat?"

and the list continues...

Self-doubt is killing us from inside.

Don't give me that look reader, we all - at some point have doubt ourselves for even the stupidest things, and its okay. It happens, we are human, we get that (a lot).

You might think, why not just be confident? Why feel so little because someone doesn't love you back?

Well, love does things to people - and don't argue with me. It does! 

It either makes you better or worse, happy or miserable, I mean, who am I to judge what love does to each one of you? 

Love does crazy things to me too that sometimes I don't feel like falling in love because I'm tired of all the mixed emotions inside me, yet I keep on falling. Like what I said, you can't control your feelings - let alone control others.

Last but not least, I have this picture that might be a self-reminder for you and of course for me too; 

but of course, the practice is not as easy as reading the picture above. Keep trying. You are almost there! Don't give up!

All I can say is, don't beat up yourself too hard, maybe its not you, its just they were not the right person, that's all. 

P.S: Its not an 'Unrequited Love' if you haven't try anything yet, so what do you waiting for? Try! Its not an 'Unrequited Love' until they had someone else on their arms, don't give up.