Merubah Paradigma Orang

Jadi, gue menulis ini berdasarkan kekesalan dan rasa kecewa dan kebingungan(?)

Jadi (lagi), gue adalah tipe orang yang ‘ditakuti’ dikalangan temen-temen gue, katanya gue galak, cepet unmood dll.

Dan, you know what? lama-lama kesan yang kayak gitu menjengkelkan asli. Mereka jadi enggak bisa bercanda santai atau asik (kadang), gimana ya, jadi sama gue tuh kayaknya lebih hati-hati atau gimana gitu, ya kesel kan.

Maksud gue gimana ya, ya biasa aja gitu. Gausah lebay banget, gausah juga apa-apa tuh bikin orang makin takut sama gue, temen-temen deket gue juga gitu, saling nakutin temen gue yang lain, like what the actual fuck. 

Mulai dari gatau kapan, gue udah malas banyak omong, gue jadi banyakan diem, soalnya gue males, ntar kalo gue banyak omong, mulai lagi ngatain gue galak lah apa lah, kan bikin males ikut nimbrung.

“Eh, eh awas bego, punya anita”

“Bantuin ngomong dong ke anita, gue takut.”

dan banyak lagi kalimat-kalimat serupa yang seenakjidat temen gue lontarkan.

Ya gimana ya, kalau lo nganggep gue temen baik sih seharusnya ya gausah segitunya banget. Capek.

If you’re doing that because you respect me, that’s good. But if the reason is you’re afraid of me, that’s so not cool.

What kind of friend that does that?? Sure, you need to be careful in treating people, because each have different personality, but treating me like I’m some kind of superior that you afraid of, is not something that friend does. 

Dan yang lain juga, please, berhenti nakut-nakutin orang tentang gue. Orang gue juga ga kenapa-kenapa. I did some things, but that doesn’t mean I can’t change. People change, remember? 

The fact is, I did changed. I hold myself from talking too much, I hold myself to talk too loud or too harsh. I hold myself from doing anything yang terkesan ‘menakutkan’. Can’t people even at least give me some credit? 

Males tau gak? Main sama orang yang ‘takut’ sama gue, they ended up ignoring me. Paling ngobrol kalo ada sesuatu doang, sisanya? 

I’m feeling suck.

So please stop.

I want people to be comfortable with me too, to be open, as much as I want to do the same thing towards them.